Second day ..

Buna dimineata soare .. Well .. Aseara sa zicem ca n`aveam somn si aveam chef de chestii “extreme” asa ca ne`am imbracat si ne`am luat laptop`urile si hai sa “dscoperim”.. Hai taticule sa cautam un wireless .. – “Ba la Mc au wireless” –“Ba da e deschis la ora asta?[as in ora 2 am]” – “Da ma cum sa nu fie deschis ?” Bitch please .. Am mers cam 2 km pana la prima statie de taxi .. –“Hehe haha Mc cu wireless, ala din Unirii” .. Ajungem .. CLOSED .. Oh am zis ca`l strang de gat pe David .. Am intrebat pe toata lumea de un Mc sau Peco cu wireless .. In final pe la 3 dimineata am ajuns la Mc`u din Romana .. Hai luam si cafea –“Ai wireless ?” – “Doar inauntru ..” Si ca sa specific, noi la 4 am eram afara pe terasa ! Ne asezam noi la masa, - “ Na hai incearca sa vezi daca e wireless”.. Scoate David al meu laptop`u pe masa si la un moment dat imi zice ca sunt 3 tipi de la Mc care beau suc si se uita la noi .. Atat mi`a trebuit .. M`am pus pe ras .. Nu puteam sa vorbesc .. Mi`au dat lacrimile .. Printre lacrimi ii zic lui David –“ Stii ce zic aia acum nu ? Ia uite si taranu cu laptop`u pe masa, cand noi n`avem wireless” .. Hahahahaha eram pe jos .. Si gasim wireless in final .. Pe ce sa intram –“ Hi5” .. Lawl again .. Am dat peste pimps, irlandezi [si jur ca abia m`am abtinut sa nu fac faza cu “donkeeeeey” din Gabriel Iglesias] care erau nemultumiti de mancarea de la Mc –“That`s because it`s American, if it was Irish it would rule” .. Modestia asta .. Na .. La 5 am am zis sa mergem acasa [as in camin] Hopa sus in taxi .. Am ajuns in camera si ne`am pus la two and a half men, pe la 6 am adormit si cica trebuia sa ne trezim la 8 jumate .. Suna ceasu .. Inca 5 minute .. Click butonu mic, rosu si dragut bye bye alarm clock .. Si alea 5 minute au fost pana la 10 .. Need coffee ! Am cafea, am ibric,am tot ce imi trebuie.. Doar caaaaa .. Nu am unde sa prepar cafeaua  Cute huh ? O noua zi de explorat .. Oh goody .. I can`t wait .. Cam innorat afara dar Se Anunta Soare ..

First day ..

It`s the first day of the rest of your life .. Indeed it is .. Azi .. Mai exact 28 septembrie 2008 m`am mutat .. La camin .. Ca studentu` .. Mna .. Agitatie mare, forfota, liste peste liste, nervi, o gramada de bani fututi, etc. Pentru ce ? Ca pleaca “bebelasu” la facultate.. Si eu eram agitata .. Dar nu prea constientizam ce se intampla .. Eram ceva de genul : - “Maine pleci !” – “Wait .. What ?” Parca ieri ma plangeam ca mai e mult pana ma mut .. Si ca abia astept sa plec .. Sa fiu free as a bird .. Flu`flu my ass .. I want back home ! Aseara a fost seara de bagaje .. Vai Cristoase cate bagaje !!! Pe langa faptul ca am indesat lucrurile cu picioru si geamantanele abia se inchideau , nu credeam 100% ca plec .. Dimineata , hoho..- “Mai lasa`ma 5 minute” –“Hai ma ca e 6 jumate” .. Dupa ce am mormait si am aruncat priviri fulgeratoare am simtit miros de cafea .. Fuckin Heaven ! Na .. Am scos toate geamantanele in hol [eu tot nu credeam ca plec] a venit tata si singura replica care a avut`o cand a vazut geamantanele a fost –“Sa`mi bag …….” [nu .. n`a fost obscen si n`a zis toata replica] Le`am indesat cu piciorul si in masina .. Haha .. Abia se inchidea portbagaju si ca sa ne urcam in masina ne`a luat vreo 5 minute .. Am pornit la drum .. Tagadam tagadam .. Pe nu stiu unde m`a apucat somnu .. [Multumesc celui care a invetat mp3 player`u] Mi`am asezat frumos castile si am bagat somn .. Tot drumul am dormit .. M`am trezit aproape de facultate .. Era happy place cand am ajuns .. Eram smiley smiley cu toata lumea .. De la administratorul de la camin pana la femeia de servici .. Ba chiar si la pitipoance le zambeam .. Ce mai .. Azi eram friendly .. Am fost prima in camera .. Am luat si singura cheie de la camera .. Victory is mine ! Mine I tell you ! Muhahaha .. Na ..Am despachetat .. Armata si`a facut treaba .. In juma de ora erau despachetate toate bagajele .. Mai un hihihi, mai un hahaha .. Pana cand m`am vazut singura in fata portii la universitate .. Si aproape m`a bufnit plansu pentru ca vedeam in zare cladiri care nu le mai vazusem ever ..Am urcat in camera, singura si trista[vii mai incolo sa stam pe intuneric ? hahaha ..nu] si asteptam sa vina David [coleg cu care ma stiu de la gradi, am fost in generala in aceiasi clasa si acum la aceiasi facultate si colegi de camin .. Lawl] pentru ca nu indrazneam sa plec de nebuna .. Intr`un final am auzit ce vroiam .. Batut in usa .. David ! Aleluia ! I`m saved ! Am iesit .. Si in 10 minute am ajuns la destinatie .. Am regasit o bucatica de cluj, si anume Hard Rock Café unde, nu stiu de ce, presimt ca pe acolo o sa`mi cam fac veacu .. Cu toate ca nu fac Bloody Mary la fel de bun ca`n cluj .. Si n`au nici Ultimate Long Island si nici Tequila cu portocala si scortisoara si nici Redd’s.. Dar cum o sa stau o perioada foarte lunga de timp pe aici .. Who knows ? Poate o sa faca upgrade la meniu .. Muhaha ..Te simti foarte ok in HRC pentru ca nimeni nu se uita ciudat si nimeni nu te studiaza [in felul ala in care nimanui nu`i place] Pentru prima zi .. ce sa zic .. It Rocks ! Hard chiar :)) Ma simt ok pentru ca stiu ca Se Anunta Soare .. :)

Invasion of personal space ..

At the end of the day when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody .. So this thing where we all keep our distances and pretend not to care about eachother it`s usually a load of bull .. So pick and choose who we want to remain close to .. And once we`ve chosen those people we tend to stick close by .. No matter how much we hurt them .. The people that are still with you at the end of the day .. Well those are the ones worth keeping .. And sure, sometimes, that invasion of personal space it can be exactly what you need ..

The blind spot ..

Many people don`t know that the human eye has a blind spot .. There`s a part of the world that we`re literally blind to .. The problem is sometimes our blind spots shields us from things that really shouldn`t be ignored. Sometimes our blind spots just keep our lives bright and shiny .. When it comes to our blind spots maybe our braines ar compensating .. Maybe they`re protecting us ..

Time ..

Time takes pleasure in kicking our asses .. For even the strongest of us .. It seems to play tricks. Slowin down, until it freezes, leaving us stuck in a moment unable to move in one direction or the other .. We can`t go back .. We can`t turn back time .. Time flies .. Time waits for no man .. Time heals all wounds [or not] .. All any of us want is more time ! Time to stand up .. Time to grow up .. Time to let go [or not] .. Time !

The brain ..

At any given moment , the brain has 14 billion neurons fireing at a speed of 450 miles/hour .. We don`t have control of most of them .. When we get a chill, goose bumps, when we get excited, adrenaline .. The body follows its impulses which i think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours. Of course, sometimes we have impulses we rather not control, that we later wish we had .. The body is a slave to its impulses .. But the thing that makes us human is what we can cotnrol. After the storm, after the rush, after the heat of the moment has passed, we can cool off and clean up the messes we made. We can try to let go of what it was .. But then again ..

It`s ok not to be fine .. Sometimes ..

Sometimes the problems seem easily detected. Most of the time we need to go step plastic .. Probing the surface, looking for any sign of trouble .. Most of the time we can`t tell what`s wrong with somebody by just looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell us a whole other story. Not all wounds are superficial .. Most wounds run deeper than we can imagine .. You can`t see them with the naked eye .. And then, there are wounds that take us by surprise .. The truth with any kind of wound or disease is to dig down and find the real source for the injury .. And once you`ve found it try like hell to heal that sucker !

The oath to do no harm ..

First , do no harm. The doctors pledge to live by this oath. But harm happens and then guilt happens .. And there`s no oath for how to deal with that .. Guilt never goes anywhere on itself .. It brings its friends, doubt and insecurity .. First do no harm .. Easier said than done .. We can take all the oaths in the world but the fact is most of us do harm all the time .. Sometimes, when even we`re trying to help, we do more harm than good .. And then the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt is up to you .. We`re left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw you back into the paver that got you into trouble in the first place or learn from the guilt and do your best to move on ..

Life is just a game ..

Games are all about the glory, the pain and the play by play and then there are the more solitary games. The games we each play all by ourselves. There are those of us who love playing games. Any game. And there are those of us who love to play a little too much. Life is not a spectator sport. Win, lose or draw the game is in progress whether we want it to be or not. So go ahead, argue with the rest, change the rules, cheat a little, take a break and tend to your wounds but play. Play hard, play fast, play loose and free. Play as if there is no tomorrow. Ok .. so it`s not whether you win or lose. It`s how you play the game. Right ?!?

Band aids ..

You have a life, you fall in love, you make plans, you have fantasies and all of them can end in a blink of an eye. Just stitch me up, slap a band aid on it and send me home. It`s easy to suggest a solution when we don`t know much about the problem. When you don`t understand the underlined cause, the first step towards a real cure is to know exactly what`s the disease to begin with but that`s not what people want to hear. We`re suppose to forget the past and led us here. Ignore the future complications that life arise and go for the quick fix. As doctors, as friends, as human beings we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you`ve gotten the lay of the land, the ground beneath you shifts and knocks you off your feet. If you`re lucky you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something band aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds you`ll have to rip off the band aid, let them breathe, and give them time to heal.

Denial and pain ..

Denial .. It`s not a river in Egypt . It`s a freakin ocean. So how do you keep from drawning in it ? A level of pain that is so great that it blocks out everything else , makes the rest of the world just fade away. Until all we can think about it`s how we hurt.
Pain .. We ride it out, embrace it, ignore it and some of us .. the best way to manage it is to just push through it.. You have to ride it out ! Hopefully it goes away on it`s own .. Hopefully what caused it .. heals. Mostly of the time pain can be managed. But sometimes the pain gets you when you least expected. It`s way below the belt and doesn`t led up. Pain – you just have to fight through because the truth is you can`t outrun it and life always makes more. Who said “what you don`t know can`t hurt you” was a complete mental moron because from most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world .. Ok, fine .. Maybe it`s the second worst.